


Thank the lucky stars

by crownheartsteacup, Popstar



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: (neither Gwil nor Ben did it though), Allen and Joe are getting married, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, And Rami is cute, Angst, Ben works in a coffee shop, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Gwil has a doctor title, Happy Ending, Lucy is the best, M/M, Marriage, Mentions of Ben/OMC, Past Relationship(s), Romance, mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 08:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18546481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownheartsteacup/pseuds/crownheartsteacup, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Popstar/pseuds/Popstar
Summary: Allen and Joe are getting married. At the stag-do Ben meets someone he hasn’t seen for years, and if he’s honest, has had no particular interest in seeing again.But as soon as his eyes catch Ben’s, Ben lets out a small breath. It’s him. It’s the Gwil he knows. His eyes widen a little and immediately he realises that the other recognises him, too, with the way his lips tug up in a small smile.“Ben!” Gwil greets him, the small smile so familiar and fond that it hurts to look at. “You look good. Did you do something different with your hair?”





	Thank the lucky stars

**Author's Note:**

> SO. HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! I hope you're having an AMAZING time and you spend the days just as much as you want to - I really hope with lots of fun, sun, relaxing, friends and family. In general, just things that make you happy.  
> I do, so I'm in a really good mood. AND, to make things even better, here's another fic. It's another prompt fill. [edgy-fluffball](http://edgy-fluffball.tumblr.com/) gave me the promot "Did you do something different with your hair?" and [carolinemathildes](http://carolinemathildes.tumblr.com/) gave me the prompt "I'm not playing hard to get, I literally hate you." And at first I didn't know what to do or what to write. But then it came to me and I asked the lovely [crownheartsteacup](http://crownheartsteacup.tumblr.com) to help me write it and we've escalated a little bit... (But she's the best person in the world). <3 (All remaining mistakes are our own, but please point them out to us.)  
> So, I really hope you like this one! It's the last of the prompt fills. All prompts have been filled and the Vegas AU wants to be written. But it will be finished (I know I've promised this, but it will). So, I'm feeling very productive and very good about myself. Hee. <3
> 
> The title is shamelessly stolen from Queen. 
> 
> **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything and this is simply for entertainment. Don't want to hurt anyone's feelings here and am not implying anything - it's just fiction that sprung from my imagination.

Ben sighs as he gets out of the cab and smoothes down the black shirt he is wearing. He’s not in the mood to party right now. But his best friend is getting married and of course he’ll be there to support him. Well, it’s not Joe’s and Allen’s wedding that’s happening tonight. It’s their stag-do. The two grooms are crazy enough to celebrate their stag-do together. But Ben really can’t blame them. They are madly in love and very perfect for each other, so of course it just makes sense for them to celebrate their stag-do together.

He’s a little jealous that he hasn’t found love like this yet. But then he’s still got time. After all, Joe and Allen met when they were already in their thirties. Ben is only 29. He still has time. It doesn’t change the fact that he has been recently dumped. He really thought Will was the one to settle down with. He was funny, good natured and charming. On top of that he was good looking and quite the shag. But unfortunately he also was an arsehole. A cheating one on top of that.

So Ben really isn’t in the mood to party right now. Especially not with all of the people Joe and Allen know. Of course he’s friends with most of them, too, but right now Ben doesn’t feel like explaining to people why he isn’t there with his boyfriend. He’ll have to power through, though. Maybe it’ll help get Ben out of his moody thoughts. He might find a good distraction.

He takes a deep breath and then finally makes his way into the club Rami, Joe’s best man, has picked for the party. It’s not that Ben is particularly bitter about the fact that Joe hasn’t picked him as best man. As far as he knows, both grooms have picked one of their oldest friends for the task. Ben gets that. He just would have loved to be there for Joe on his big day, stick to his side and pat his back. So he’s got to sit in the back and watch them say their vows to each other. But he’ll still support Joe, no matter what, even with a broken heart, and all. And despite everything, Joe has already promised that Ben will be the godfather to their firstborn for not being his best man. So Ben can look forward to that. He’ll spoil that kid rotten.

Of course, Joe knows about the Will-drama, as he likes to call it. It just happened a few weeks before and so it’s still fresh on his mind, and if Ben is honest, he is still quite far from being over it now. Or rather, over the fact that he got cheated on. It’s not that he’s been overly in love with him. He just... Ben’s pride is hurt and that makes him angrier than he wants to admit. But he’s determined not to bring it up tonight. He’ll celebrate the grooms-to-be and have fun, drink a little too much and maybe shag a handsome stranger.

As soon as he is inside, he looks around for Joe or Allen. It’s not hard to spot the two. They are by the bar, drinks in their hand and when Joe sees him, he waves frantically at Ben, trying to catch his attention.

Once Ben has made his way over far enough to be within reaching distance, Joe pulls him into a tight hug and presses a smacking kiss to his cheek. “Ben! There you are. I already missed your handsome face,” he tells him, grinning widely. “Babe! Ben is here!”

Allen, who has been talking to someone else, turns around at that, and immediately wraps an arm around Ben as well in greeting. “Good to see you, Ben,” he greets happily, eyes sparkling with delight. This will be a long night, Ben thinks, that’s for sure, with both of them so chipper already.

He laughs anyway and pats Allen’s back gently. “Good to see you, too. Both of you.” Ben turns to Joe as well so he doesn't pout. “Quite the place Rami picked.”

“It is,” Allen agrees and grins. “The man’s got taste. And not only in women.” He pats Ben’s back. “Oh, let me introduce you to Gwil!” His face lights up and then he pulls away from them, leaving them on their own.

Ben frowns at the sound of the name, looking after him for a moment, before he turns to Joe. “Who’s that?” He asks. The name definitely is familiar to him. Ben used to know someone with that name a few years back, and he doesn't have the fondest memories of him.

“Gwilym is his best man, you know that. I told you that!” Joe immediately tells him, wrapping himself around Ben once more. “You’ll like him, Gwilym is lovely. Oh, and you should have a shot of vodka. We already had one when Rami came to pick us up in that nice car. I’m curious what his plans are for the night,” Joe tells Ben, squeezing him and kissing his cheek once more. “And no frowning tonight, Ben, or I’ll send whatever stripper Rami picked out to go sit on your lap instead of Allen’s.”

Ben snorts at that and rolls his eyes but wraps his arm around Joe's shoulders anyway, returning the hug. “I’m not frowning, I promise. Just... the name Allen said. It reminded me of someone I used to know. And it’s not exactly a common name? Remember that guy I told you about, my first?”

“Oooh, the one who moved away and broke your heart?” Joe asks, cuddling in closer immediately. They’ve grown so close over the years that Ben doesn’t even bat an eye over Joe’s cuddly nature by now, just shifts his arm to let him get comfortable plastered against Ben’s side. “No moping about him tonight either. Tonight you have to celebrate me and my lovely Allen getting married.”

“No, not yet. That’s still a week away. Tonight we’re celebrating that you theoretically still have a choice not to marry him,” Ben tells him and snickers, pressing a gentle kiss to Joe’s head. “Although I don't want you to do that. You’re going to marry Allen. You guys are perfect for each other.”

“If I didn't know you two, I’d be jealous that my fiancé is cuddling up to such a cutie,” Allen says, making Joe and Ben look up at him with a laugh.

While Joe immediately makes grabby hands for Allen, Ben’s eyes come to rest on the stranger Allen has brought along. He’s tall, and very handsome. His dark hair is styled back nicely and the beard he is wearing is giving his face a look of sophistication. But as soon as his eyes catch Ben's, Ben lets out a small breath. It’s him. It’s the Gwil he knows. His eyes widen a little and immediately he realises that the other recognises him, too, with the way his lips tug up in a small smile.

“Ben!” Gwil greets him, the small smile so familiar and fond that it hurts to look at. “You look good. Did you do something different with your hair?”

Ben stares at him. He’s acting like nothing is wrong. Like he didn’t break Ben’s heart into a million pieces when he left all those years ago. “That’s what time does to you, different hairstyles. You’re wearing a beard now.” He doesn’t want to sound so snappy, but he also doesn’t want to hold back either. He definitely doesn’t have the fondest memories of Gwil and seeing him again like this just reminds Ben of how he’s never been lucky with picking guys. It’s the cherry on top of the disaster that is his love life right now.

“Oh, you guys know each other?” Allen pipes in, clearly delighted by the fact. “That’s good. So we don’t have to fear awkward silences because there are no things to talk about anymore.”

“Yeah, we go way back,” Gwil agrees with a smile, then has the nerve to step forward and just wrap Ben up in a short hug, just like that. “Good to see you. So how do you know Joe?”

Ben doesn’t really want to do small talk with him, but Allen and Joe are watching, and he promised Joe that he wouldn’t be moody tonight. “We’re best friends,” he replies then and deliberately takes a step back from him, taking the shot Joe offered before and knocks the liquid back without hesitation.

Gwil smiles and nods at that. “Oh give me one of those, too?” He asks Ben and waggles his eyebrows, already holding out a hand. “And as soon as everyone is here, we’ll have to toast to the soon-to-be-grooms.”

For good measure, Ben takes another shot before he hands Gwil a glass and then turns to Joe, grabbing his arm a little too forceful. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure,” Joe agrees easily and presses a kiss to Allen’s cheek, detangling himself. “We gotta go say Hi to Rami anyway. Well, you do. I have already said Hi.”

“Yes, that too.” Ben smiles at Allen, before he drags Joe away, throwing a look over his shoulder. Gwil keeps watching him attentively, the blue of his eyes that Ben remembers so vividly, not noticeable in the dim light of the club. He turns his attention forward again and then stops with Joe a bit further away when he’s sure they definitely won’t hear them anymore, turning his back towards the other two. “It’s him, Joe.”

“Who’s what?” Joe asks back, tilting his head to the side. It takes a moment, but then it clicks, obviously and Joe lets out a low “Ooooh” and adds in a whisper “Gwilym. He’s your first?” 

“Yes.” Ben looks back over his shoulder. This time Gwil is not watching him anymore, but he’s talking to Allen. He groans and looks back to Joe. “It’s him.”

“I’m gonna punch him,” Joe says immediately, tensing up. “He broke your heart!” He adds, pulling Ben against his side once more. “I can’t believe it. He’s such a nice guy usually?”

Ben shrugs. “Well, most arseholes can be nice until they are arseholes,” he replies and sighs. “I don’t know. Maybe he changed. It was a long time ago, Joe. I don’t want you to punch him. He’s Allen’s best man.”

“Well, I’ll tell Allen to pick someone else. He loves me and he wants the wedding to be perfect and it won’t be perfect when I’m upset with his best man,” Joe answers, already working himself into a huff.

“Joe.” Ben grabs Joe’s face with both hands, unable to suppress a chuckle. He loves Joe and he loves that he’s looking out for him so much. “Don’t. The wedding will be perfect. Don’t mind me. I don’t have to talk to Gwil. I’m just a little sensitive right now because of Will.” He snorts a little and drops his hand to Joe’s shoulders. “Seems like I have a type, huh?” Tall, dark hair and a hint of arsehole behaviour seems to be what Ben likes to go for in men.

“No, they are just stupid. Both of them,” Joe assures him immediately. “You’re the best and they’d be happy to have you. And I want you to be okay with all of this. So just say the word and he’s at the very other end of the seating chart, alright? Promise me?”

“I promise you.” Ben smiles at him, squeezing his shoulders once more. “It’ll be fine.” He won’t ruin Joe’s wedding and he’ll sit through everything he needs to because he won't muck up the seating chart a week before the wedding. Everything is planned already, he knows that. And he knows Joe and Allen have been working on the seating chart for over a week until they were happy with how everything is arranged now. Ben doesn’t want it to get chaotic, just because he’s not over the guy who took his gay virginity. “Come on. Let’s find Rami.”

“Okay, yes,” Joe agrees easily and together the two of them make their way back to the bar where Rami is talking to some of the others in the group.

“Ben! Hi,” Rami greets happily, wrapping him up in a short hug as well. His smile and his slow voice immediately calm Ben down a little, taking away the anger he is feeling towards Will and Gwil and any man that might have ever wronged Ben in his entire dating life. As jealous as he may or may not be that Rami is best man, he knows that Rami will be perfect at keeping Joe calm on his wedding day.

“Hey man, good to see you.” Ben pats Rami’s back and smiles at him, squeezing his shoulder a little. “Nice place you picked. I like it. Can’t wait for the strippers though. Who’s getting theirs first? Or are they getting them at the same time?”

“Joe first,” Rami answers with a laugh. “We considered them at the same time, but that’s not as fun, I think? No time to get jealous if you’re getting a lap dance yourself, you know?”

“Good thinking.” Ben grins. “And it’s even better to get Joe first, so he’s giddy and happy and then he’ll have to suffer a hot guy grinding up on Allen.”

Rami laughs at that, nodding along. “Exactly. He’ll hate and love it at the same time.”

Ben nods as well. “Definitely. I can’t wait to see that.” He smiles, taking in Rami. “You look really good, happy, and not at all stressed. I like that.”

“Yeah, I’m good. Happy,” Rami agrees. “And this evening is going to be such fun. I mean, a stag-do for those two? Gwil and I had a lot of fun planning most of it.” Of course, Ben thinks immediately and almost a little bitter about it, Rami gets along great with Gwil, too. Everybody seems to love him.

“That’s really good.” Ben smiles and pats Rami’s back once more. “I’m going to get a drink. See you around.” With that he slips away and makes his way over to the bar to get himself a drink. Once he’s got a glass in his hand, he says Hi to other friends, wrapping each and every one up in a hug and chat for a bit. It does help taking his mind off men in general and a particular one in this club for a while. He laughs, chats and drinks, making sure that he is distracted enough from thinking too much about Allen’s best man.

It's not that Ben isn't over Gwil. One just doesn’t forget their first. And Ben really liked him back then. He might even have been in love with him when Gwil decided it was good to move away and then he never heard of him again until now.

He broke Ben’s heart, because while they never talked about it, Ben has clearly thought that they could have become more. He never wanted to bother Gwil, never stayed the night because he was afraid that he’d kick him out the next morning, that no matter what Gwil said and pretended to be, that Ben was nothing more than a fling to him. After all, they started off as a casual shag. But Ben still hoped they could become more than just that. It was probably due to the way Gwil acted with him back then, quite lovingly and not at all like Ben was just another fling. After all, they had a thing for a nearly year. A year is a long time and a lot can happen in that time, especially since Ben managed to fall really hard for his first. There’s no denying that. Ben fell hard and fast and even faster than he thought he would.

When they first met, Ben just wanted to have a nice night and enjoy himself. He didn’t quite realise that Gwil would take it so seriously to make it good for him. He took his time, was gentle when he needed to and rougher when it was appropriate. Ben’s first time with a man was better than he had ever imagined it. And he is still grateful to Gwil for that. He’s not sure if he’d be the man he is now, if it weren’t for Gwil. So while they had their thing, they almost met up every week – not every time to have sex, but sometimes just to hang out. And Ben slowly but surely lost his heart to Gwil. He was nice, funny and good looking and they had great sex. It was then that Ben realised he wanted more. He tried talking to Gwil, without actually talking about it, tried to make him see that he wanted more. But Gwil either didn’t see it or didn’t want to see it. Maybe he just ignored it. So Ben took what he could get.

But no matter how sweet Gwil was to him, he still went away, didn’t even ask Ben if he wanted to come with him, stay in touch at least or would want something more. For him it was just sex. And while Ben surely doesn’t get to be angry with him about this – after all, they never were more in the first place – he still is heartbroken, when he thinks back. Maybe it’s because his recent break-up is still so fresh on his mind and he’s projecting everything he’s feeling, the betrayal, the bitterness, onto Gwil, but either way, he really doesn’t like him.

As if summoned by the thoughts of him, Gwil appears at Ben’s side after a while, clinking his glass against Ben’s with a smile before he can do anything about it. “How have you been?” He asks Ben, tilting his head to the side, actually trying to have a conversation in a by now crowded club.

Ben looks up at him, contemplating his options. He could play nice. But on the other hand, he really doesn’t want to. He’ll have to smile through the whole wedding preparations anyway, because Ben promised to help Joe and Allen, like the good friend he is. He can’t help but watch him for a moment though. Age really has done Gwil good. Ben also likes the beard he is sporting. It really suits him. God, he is already getting distracted. “If you had called, you’d know,” he says and shrugs before he takes another sip of his drink.

Gwil seems startled by the answer for a moment, then sighs and shakes his head. “It’s not like you called either?” He offers back and wow, way to go, blaming it on Ben. Before he can take a breath to answer, though, Gwil continues. “I just thought you never wanted to talk to me again once the casual thing was over due to me moving away. That’s what I got from your silence so I didn’t want to annoy you.”

“Yeah well, tough luck. You didn’t say you wanted to stay in touch either. So don’t blame all of this on me.” Ben shrugs again. He's fed up with being blamed, being the one who is not good enough or doesn’t give the right signals. He won’t take shit from men again, that’s his new mantra for his life he decides right then and there.

“I’m not blaming you!” Gwil answers, holding up his hands defensively. “I just asked how you’ve been. I'm sorry for asking.”

“You don’t have to be nice to me. After the wedding we’ll never see each other again, don’t worry,” Ben tells him before he takes another sip of his drink, taking him in again. It’s probably not true, anyway, considering how close Allen and Joe usually keep their friends around. It’s a bit of a surprise that they haven’t met earlier, actually. After all, there were enough birthdays and dinner parties and the engagement party held during the years where they could have easily met. But that doesn’t matter right now. 

Gwil looks a little hurt at Ben’s words and Ben immediately feels like an arsehole for saying stuff like that. Gwil has been more than nice to him tonight and Ben is having none of it. He feels torn because on the one hand he wants to know everything about him as well, wants to ask if Gwil is seeing someone, because he's genuinely interested in that, but on the other hand he knows that this could be considered flirting and he definitely doesn't want to flirt and give him the wrong signals. Some masochistic part of himself even wants to ask if Gwil thought of him since they parted ways. But he sticks with what’s easier: lashing out and snapping at Gwil, and maybe hurting him like Ben got hurt back then.

“I wasn’t trying to be nice, it’s an honest question. But alright. I’ll leave you alone,” Gwil agrees and steps back, grabbing his drink from the table they’ve been leaning on. “Have fun tonight, anyway. And I hope you have been good.” With that, he turns away, making a beeline for Rami.

Ben snorts at that but can’t help but watch him wrap his arm around Rami’s shoulders. Rami's face immediately lights up and he wraps his arm around Gwil’s middle in return, leaning his head against his shoulder for a moment. Ben frowns at that. He can’t be a bad guy if Rami likes him. Granted, Joe likes him, too, and he’s one of Allen’s oldest friends. But when Rami likes someone, they definitely can’t be a bad human being.

And Ben remembers Gwil from back then as well. He has been nothing but good to him, treated him right and made sure that Ben always felt good about himself. So of course Ben knows that Gwil isn’t a bad guy. He’s just still a little more heartbroken than he wants to admit. Or it’s the alcohol. It must be that. He’s blaming it on the alcohol.

He lets out a deep sigh and then downs the rest of his drink. This is definitely making his head hurt and the night hasn’t even properly started yet. Maybe he should take Joe up on his offer and accept the stripper. Ben turns his gaze away and heads to the bar to get another drink and chat to a few of Joe’s friends.

He’s just having a chat with one of the guys he hasn’t spoken to in ages, both of them laughing, when there's a sudden hoot behind them and Ben turns around to see Joe being approached by what clearly is a stripper. He’s got an exaggerated sway to his steps and he’s pushing Joe into a chair in a firm, but careful manner.

“Noo, him, take him!” Joe demands immediately, pointing to Allen who is just laughing in delight, blowing Joe a kiss when the stripper shakes his head and nudges Joe in the chest.

Ben moves along with the others to watch the lap dance Joe is getting. He’s clearly having fun, although he’s trying not to show it too much while Allen is watching, no matter that Allen is laughing his arse off. 

Ben can’t help but laugh as well. The whole thing is more than hilarious, even though Ben has got to admit that the stripper really is a good looking man and very well ripped. He’s not sure if Rami or Gwil chose him, but whoever did, they did a remarkable job. Just out of curiosity he looks around the room, trying to find Gwil.

It takes him a moment but then he spots him over Allen’s shoulder, laughing as well and just as Ben is looking over, Gwil wraps an arm around Allen and leans in to whisper to him, the both of them laughing again at whatever he just said. He looks gorgeous when he laughs, eyes still fixed on Joe and the lap dance he's getting from the stripper, who is by now down to his g-string.

Ben decides that he needs another drink after this and when Joe slaps the stripper’s bum when he’s done, Ben slips away to the bar to get himself a fresh drink. He’s not going to get upset tonight, he told that to himself and to Joe, and he’s definitely going to keep his promise.

By the time he has his drink in hand and turns around again, Joe is wrapped up in Allen’s arms, clinging to his shirt as they snog right there in the middle of the VIP-area of the club they are in, ignoring the catcalls of all the others.

Rami is laughing as well, trying to nudge them apart, but Joe is clearly refusing to let go just yet and Allen seems just as happy to have his fiancé back in his arms.

Eventually though they manage to get Joe off Allen so the latter can receive his lap dance by his very own stripper as well, resulting in laughter and catcalls by their surrounding friends. Joe doesn’t look too happy about it, as predicted, but he plays along and pretends he has fun as well. But Ben knows him well enough to know that he is more than jealous.

As soon as the stripper has left, completely naked and only covering himself up with his hand, Allen remains seated and makes grabby hands for Joe, spotting his fiancé off to the side easily. He pulls Joe into his lap, murmuring something into his ear and pressing a kiss to it, everyone laughing when Joe just blushes.

“You managed the impossible, Allen!" Rami cheers, moving over to wrap himself around them in a hug. “He’s blushing, Joe is blushing! I hope someone is filming this, the man is shameless usually!”

“I’m filming!” Gwil calls back with a laugh and when Ben looks over, he has indeed his phone out, aiming it at the huddle.

Ben has to admit that it was a really good show and it’s good to see that the two of them have so much fun, as is everyone else. The only one who isn't in a party mood is Ben. But he definitely knows how to help with that, so he takes another sip of his drink and then makes his way into the huddle as well, cheering along with their friends as he wraps his arms around Rami and Allen and presses a kiss to the top of Joe’s head.

A few drinks later, Ben is in the middle of the dance floor, dancing silly with a group of people, while Joe and Allen are pretty busy grinding onto each other. He is definitely having a good time himself now, no matter he had just a pretty bad break up. No matter that he’s only meeting arseholes or doesn’t have luck with men in general. He’s definitely going to have a good time right now.

When he needs a break, he excuses himself and makes his way back to the bar, getting himself another drink. He contemplates flirting with the barkeeper when he spots Gwil a little further down, leaning against the bar as he watches their dancing friends, clearly taking a break. As soon as he’s got his drink in his hand he takes a deep breath and makes his way down to him. “Nice thing you did here for the love birds,” he tells him, startling him a little when he slides up to him out of nowhere.

Gwil gives him a surprised look for a moment, but then grins at Ben and raises his glass to toast to him. “Thanks. Only the best for them, they deserve it. And I’m glad to see them this happy.”

Ben clinks his glass against Gwil’s and nods. “Yeah, me too.” He looks over to the dance floor and laughs softly. “They’re my hope that I’ll have that, too. One day.” As soon as he’s uttered the words he shoots Gwil a look, taking in his face. He doesn’t even know why the words bubbled out of his mouth. Maybe he’s lonelier than he’s thought.

Gwil doesn’t seem affected though while he nods along. “Yeah, makes one hope for that, too, seeing them like that. Especially on an evening like this. I mean... This time next week they’ll be husbands!”

“I know. Unbelievable.” Ben laughs softly and looks back at him, taking in his handsome face. “You really look good,” he says then before he can stop himself. Gwil does. He is paying right up to Ben’s alley.

“Thank you. Likewise,” Gwil chuckles. “Like I said, I like what you did with your hair.” He tilts his head to the side for a moment. “Can I ask how you’ve been now or are you going to bite off my head again?”

“I’m not going to bite off your head. I’m sorry about that.” Ben shrugs. He is sorry. That’s not even a lie. Gwil didn’t deserve for Ben to snap at him like that. After all, he’s been nothing but friendly the last hours. “I’m... okay. Been dumped recently. Or rather, I ended it. The bastard cheated on me. So cheers on that.” He raises his glass and then takes a large sip. After all, he didn’t want to think about Will tonight and how shitty he feels about that. He still isn’t quite sure what hurts the most, the break-up itself or that he was dump enough to get cheated on. It’s probably the latter.

It hurts to admit it, but talking about it strangely helps as well, and Ben knows that he needs to get over his dick of an ex. It’s not even that he’s been particularly in love with him. It’s more that his pride is hurt. Ben really hasn’t even remotely considered that he would have someone cheat on him. But then you never know how these things play out.

“Well, he’s an idiot then. Cheating is like... I don’t know how people can do that,” Gwil grumbles next to Ben, pulling him out of his thoughts with that. He looks over to him, taking in his thoughtful expression and watching him take a sip of his own drink, thinking for a moment. “I’m sorry that happened to you. Nobody deserves that, least of all you. You’re a good guy. I mean, I’ve heard Joe talk about his best friend Ben so much but I never connected the dots?”

Ben feels himself blush at the words. He likes it when Gwil calls him a good guy. “I know. Joe talked about a Gwilym all the time, too. I just didn’t realise that’s you?”

“Well, it’s not exactly a common name...” Gwil answers slowly, then chuckles. “I told Joe to call me “Gwil” a thousand times but he claims my name is too lovely and exotic for his American tastes to call me anything but Gwilym.”

Ben snorts. “That’s Joe for you,” he tells him and laughs softly. “And to be fair, back then I only knew you as Gwil. You didn’t tell me your name is Gwilym.”

“That’s because so many people butcher the pronunciation, I usually go by Gwil.” He chuckles and then takes another sip of his drink, watching Ben intensely for a moment. “God, it’s been years, hasn't it?”

“Nine, to be exact. Not that anyone’s counting,” Ben replies and shrugs. He brings his glass up to his lips, watching Gwil closely.

“Well, age has done you good. You look good,” Gwil tells Ben with a smile. “So, what are you doing now, then? Back then you were in uni, weren't you?”

Ben nods. “Yeah, acting school. Now I’m aspiring to become an actor. I work in a coffee shop part time though. Acting hasn’t taken off that much. I mean, I love doing theatre. It just doesn’t pay too well.”

“Oh, you’re doing theatre?” Gwil beams at him. “I love that. I’ll have to come see you some time, then.”

“Yeah. Nothing big yet. I’ve done a bit of Shakespeare. I remember how much you love that.” Ben chuckles. If he’s really honest, he remembers a lot more about Gwil than he wants to. Especially how his hands feel on his body, how his tongue feels and how pretty he moans when he comes.

Ben can’t help but let his gaze drag over Gwil’s body for a moment. He really looks good. It’s clear that he’s doing sports of some kind. He’s not overly trained, but he looks fit, in shape. These nine years have done Gwil really well, too.

“Well, let me know if there’s something I can come see,” Gwil answers with a smile, moving a little closer so he can nudge his shoulder against Ben’s.

Ben looks up at him and bites his lip. Having Gwil this close, with the entire ruckus going on around them, makes Ben feel hot all over. His shoulder tingles a little where Gwil touched him and he subtly leans a little closer to him as well. He still remembers him a little too well from back then. As Ben told Joe, one never forgets their first, and Ben definitely is never going to forgot Gwil. Not with how great he has been to Ben and how much care he has taken of him. “I will,” he answers a little belatedly and looks up at Gwil, his gaze coming to rest on Gwil’s lips instead of his eyes.

“Good.” Gwil’s answer comes easy and the smile he’s giving Ben is honest and hits a little too close to home. He nudges him again with his shoulder. “Come on, we should join the rest on the dance floor.”

Ben nods. “Yeah. Let me finish this, then I’ll be right behind you. I much rather focus on one thing at a time.” He licks over his lips again and then takes another sip of his drink, his eyes fixed on Gwil’s. He knows that he’s flirting. And maybe it’s not his wisest decision. But Ben has had alcohol and that messes with the dislike of Gwil he is trying to hold on to. He isn’t even sure if he really dislikes him or if he’s just projecting his frustrations onto him because Gwil is here and he has broken Ben’s heart in the past.

“Alright.” Gwil smiles widely, totally oblivious to Ben’s flirting, already moving on the spot a little. “Come on, drink up,” he tells Ben when he takes another sip instead of just downing his drink. He finishes off his own drink after that and puts his empty glass on the bar, giving Ben another brilliant smile.

Ben chuckles at that. “You’re still as good at swallowing as I remember.” He winks at him and then finishes off his own drink, watching in delight as Gwil flushes a little.

“And you’re a lot sassier than I remember you being. That’s gotta be Joe’s influence,” Gwil answers after a moment, obviously a little surprised by Ben’s words. “Come on. Off to the dance floor with you.”

Ben snickers happily and nudges Gwil lightly before he makes his way to said dance floor. Gwil is following him closely and when Ben looks over his shoulder, Gwil’s eyes are on Ben’s bum, if he is not mistaken. He bites his lip and looks back front, checking the way. But it seems like the spark from nine years ago is still there and it’s not all in Ben’s head.

Before he can do anything about it, maybe even feel Gwil’s hands on him again on the dance floor, Rami appears in his vision, a wide grin on his face as he wraps an arm around him and pulls Ben along.

Ben gets lost in the crowd then and loses track of Gwil. He dances a while with Rami and a few other mates. But in the end he forgets all about Gwil and his nice hands and intense eyes, which maybe is for the best, because no matter what Ben would have wanted, snogging Gwil, or doing even more, is out of the question. He’s not in the right headspace to make any decision considering his old flame now, especially not if he has to face him for a bit longer because of the wedding. No matter how attractive he thinks Gwil still is.

They party until the early morning, when it’s finally time for all of them to go home, drunk and happy and with a good feeling for Joe and Allen. Quickly Ben says his goodbye to everyone, even though he doesn’t find Gwil. But maybe that’s for the best, considering Ben doesn’t really trust himself right now, and then makes his way to find a cab. He really had a nice night, despite what he first feared. But his feelings didn’t get the better of him and he actually managed to mostly pull himself together when he met Gwil again after so many years.

He spends his Sunday nursing his hangover and feeling miserable for himself. But somehow he manages not to think about Gwil too much. It definitely went a lot better than Ben would have ever imagined it. Not that he did imagine it a lot before. It’s just that he, and now that he’s sober he’s not ashamed to admit it to himself, never got over Gwil in the first place.

He’s also a bit bitter and regrets that he has flirted with Gwil at the stag-do. Of course, using alcohol as excuse is never good, but Ben isn’t quite sure what he would have done if he hadn’t been so drunk. But he shouldn’t have flirted with Gwil, not like this. They will have to see each other at the wedding and the days before. So Ben doesn’t really get the chance to stay away from Gwil. He’ll be there and Ben will have to make the most of it, trying to get out of this without making too much of an arse of himself.

With the way that things ended between them all those years ago, there are still loose ties and Ben would nothing more than to close them. Maybe he should talk to Gwil, he’s not sure. But he doesn’t quite know what he should say anyway. He can’t just march up to him and tell him that he’s broken his heart in more pieces than Ben could count back then and that he’s still not over him, no matter what he pretends to be.

Ben will just power through the next days, put on a fake smile whenever he sees Gwil and hopefully be able to make small talk conversation when he’s sober. He’s not sure if he can be as nice to Gwil as he was when he was drunk. But then he doesn’t know what he can do and can’t do anyway when it comes to Gwil at all.

His wrecked brain doesn’t come up with a solution on how to handle the situation but he’s still got two days to figure out a plan on how to talk to Gwil during the preparations for the wedding and the wedding itself. So Ben does the next best thing to dealing with all of this like an adult: he ignores his feelings and keeps himself distracted before he finally has to go to bed because he’s got the early shift in the coffee shop the next day. 

He’s there on time, well rested and while he’s not exactly enthusiastic about serving the rushed morning crowd on a Monday, he‘s in a good mood nonetheless, especially since the work keeps him from his thoughts about a certain someone from his past. So preparing coffee after coffee helps him to get into his morning routine while his colleague on the till taking the orders. Ben just keeps brewing and steaming milk to turn grumpy people into happy customers.

Once the first rush is over, they finally get to breathe a little. Ben prepares a coffee for himself and takes a sip with a sigh. It’s not that he doesn’t like working in the coffee shop. He does. But he could imagine something different for himself, especially since he’d really love to work theatre full time and be able to live off it. He’s sure that he could do different things as well, television or maybe even cinema – his agents has got him a few auditions in the past for these things as well. It’s just that Ben doesn’t really want to do these things. He’s a little romantic, when he’s quite honest, and he likes that about theatre. Even though he’s not a big shot yet and hasn’t been able to make a living of it as much as he’d liked. After all, he’s still living in the same flat he did when he started uni. But he and his roommate go along more than just fine and eventually he’ll be able to move out. He needs a little more time and patience for this.

He‘s just finishing his coffee, thankful for the short lull, when the bell above the door rings again and another customer steps in. Ben gets back to the coffee machine without looking up, only paying attention out of the corner or his eye as the man in the suit steps up to his colleague to place his order.

Ben‘s head nearly whips around though when he hears the man talk, because he knows that voice. He’ll always recognise it, anywhere in the world. He’s more than sure about it. And when he turns to look, his gaze slowly dragging over the expensive looking dark grey suit, he lets out a small gasp. It really is him, Gwil, standing in his coffee shop, ordering a cafe latte extra strong.

He can’t help but stare at him, because the suit he is wearing does look extraordinary expensive and it suits him really well. Judging from the fitting it’s tailored. Ben swallows and turns his attention back to the coffee machine, trying his best to hide behind it, even though he knows it’s practically impossible. He’s too tall for that. But he just doesn’t feel like facing him right now.

He doesn’t quite know how to talk to Gwil. Not after he made such an idiot of himself Saturday night. He couldn’t hold himself back for five minutes and flirted his arse off when he was drunk enough that he didn’t care about his heart and everything that went to shit nine years ago. Even though he really didn’t want to flirt with Gwil in the first place. Or so he thought. He isn’t sure what he wanted, what he wants, mainly because he’s confused right now. But Gwil broke his heart back then and Ben doesn’t want him back. Not like this, not ever. He’s done with men in general. He’s going back to dating women.

He has just finished preparing the coffee and is about to put the lid on the to-go-mug when Gwil spots him.

“Ben? Good morning!” He greets easily, smiling widely at him over the top of the coffee machine. Damn, he even looks good in daylight, not just in the dark of the club. He’s wearing a nice pair of glasses as well and those, in combination with the beard, give him an air of sophistication once more, one that Ben likes more than he wants to admit, even to himself. His latest ex was a bit older than Ben as well, and always wore well-fitted suits. It seems like Ben has a type in men, no matter that he liked Gwil in jeans and t-shirt when he was still in uni. He grits his teeth because his stomach does a funny thing and Ben doesn’t want to admit it that there might still be something he isn’t ready for just yet.

“Oh, Gwil, hi. I didn’t see you there,” he lies straight to his face and offers a small smile before he hands over the mug. Gwil really looks good. Too good for Ben’s liking. He’s not sure if he’s ever seen Gwil wearing glasses before, but either way, it really gets to him and he swallows.

“Nice to see you,” Gwil answers cheerily. “I missed you leaving on Saturday. Or maybe I left before you?”

“I don’t know? I was there until the early morning when everyone else left, so maybe you left before?” Ben asks back, shrugging a little. He tries to act nonchalantly, like he doesn’t care that Gwil cares and noticed that they didn’t say goodbye to each other. He doesn’t want to be that kind of person and he knows that he’s acting pretty badly right now, but he really doesn’t want to talk to him. Not when he hasn’t figured out his feelings just yet.

“Oh, we just missed each other, then, I think.” Gwil tilts his head to the side. “Because I think I stayed until the end, too? I mean, I was drunk, but I’d remember if we said goodbye,” he tells him and takes a sip of the coffee, letting out a hum. “This is good.”

Ben smiles stiffly. “Thanks.” He nods. “And yeah. We must have missed each other. Well. See you at the wedding? Although, no. I’ll be at the location on Wednesday as well. So see you then?”

Gwil beams at him. “Yeah, I’ll be there on Wednesday already, too. So only two days of work. Maybe I’ll have to come back for another cup tomorrow. But yeah. Looking forward to seeing you at the wedding.”

Ben bites down on his tongue at that. He really wants to be friendly towards Gwil, but right now he doesn’t feel like it. He’s not sure if he can already be when he’s sober. Sure, maybe he should be mature and grown up about what happened, especially since Gwil really is nothing but friendly towards him. But he just doesn’t want to. “Yeah, you too.” He nods and shifts a little. 

“Well, until tomorrow then. Or the day after,” Gwil answers after a moment. He gives Ben another smile, then takes another sip and heads off with a little wave to Ben and a polite nod to his co-worker. 

“Are you playing hard to get or why didn’t you flirt back? He’s quite hot,” his colleague comments immediately, raising an eyebrow and punching Ben in the shoulder lightly.

“I’m not playing hard to get,” Ben answers and rolls his eyes. “I literally hate him.” It’s not quite as drastic, he’s got to admit that, but his colleague never really lets him live these days, especially when good looking men try to flirt with Ben.

Out of the corner of the eye, he sees Gwil actually flinch at his words, hand still on the door as he was just about to leave. His shoulders sink down, his whole body slumping as he slips out of the door without looking back. Apparently his answer had been a little too loud and clearly audible to Gwil. 

Ben bites his lip at that. He didn’t mean it like that. He’s especially didn’t mean for Gwil to hear him. God, his day, his whole week, is starting even worse than he thought. He frowns for a moment. It’s not that he hates Gwil, not really anyway. He just isn’t particularly fond of him, that’s all. Mainly it’s due to the memories he’s got of him, that Gwil broke his heart so many years ago. After all, Ben was pretty green and he didn’t know how to handle life itself. And Gwil had been nothing but sweet to him, introducing him to a world that Ben thought would be a lot tougher, judging from the stories he’s read up. But Gwil? He was a total sweetheart and easily captured Ben’s heart, making him fall fast and hard for him. Until he left and Ben’s heart shattered to pieces.

Seeing Gwil now brings everything back, all the memories and the feelings Ben thought he has overcome over the years. But he’s clearly not over Gwil and he doesn’t know how to handle all of this. Especially since he’s been a total dick now. Gwil doesn’t deserve that. He really doesn’t. Ben wants to run after him and to tell him he’s sorry, but he doesn’t know how, and he doesn’t know if he really should either. Maybe he’s overthinking it, like he usually does.

“Yeah, sure, you hate him. That’s why you looked at him like you wanted to eat him,” his colleague comments with a snicker, pulling Ben out of his conflicted thoughts.

Ben sighs and shrugs. “Whatever.” He doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, especially not with his colleague. He actually doesn’t want to talk at all for the rest of the workday. Maybe, he muses, Gwil will be fine. After all, they haven’t spoken for years and Ben doesn’t need to be his friend, even though he feels really shitty for saying something like this now. But he’ll survive, he’s sure of it. Gwil is a grown man and he can live with Ben not liking him. Ben will just have to make sure he manages to pull himself together enough for the wedding, for Joe’s and Allen’s sake. After all, this isn’t about Ben and his miserable love life. This is about his best friend getting married to the love of his life and Ben will be supportive and smile and act like nothing of this affects him the way it does. He doesn’t want to drag Joe into this and take his focus off the wedding.

In the end, Ben goes home to an empty flat in a pretty bad mood after a long work day. At least his roommate isn’t home, so he’s got some time to himself to think. It took him all day and a lot of courage to admit it to himself. But he really needs to talk to Gwil and apologise for saying something what he said to his colleague. No matter of Ben is still bitter about the past; Gwil doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. He’s been nothing but nice to Ben so far and he’s been trying to have decent conversations with him, while Ben acted immature and like a total dick. His mother raised him right and he definitely isn’t a dick. Gwil deserves better and Ben will be a grown up about this and apologise. Especially since he still has Joe and Allen on the back of his mind and that he doesn’t want to ruin their wedding with his personal drama.

As for a plan of action, a way to apologise, Ben hopes that Gwil will come into the coffee shop the next day.  
He waits all morning for him to pop in, looking up hopefully at every jingle of the bell above the door. However, when Gwil doesn’t end up coming into the coffee shop, Ben feels even worse about it. Gwil really must have taken Ben’s words to heart. He feels more than shitty, like the greatest arsehole on the planet. And Ben usually isn’t a bad guy. He really isn’t. No matter what he tried to do, this isn’t how he wanted it to go down. Sure, maybe he had tried to hurt Gwil the way he hurt him back then, but it didn’t give Ben the right to act this shitty about it.

Due to all of this the feeling in his stomach isn’t the best when he makes his way out of the city to the wedding location Allen and Joe have booked for the weekend on the next day. He spends the whole train ride wrecking his brain about what he should say to Gwil when he sees him again, because he really needs to apologise to him. While he doesn’t come up with anything, he feels a bit better when the train finally pulls into the station and he gets off it, knowing that he’ll somehow make this right, no matter that Gwil will probably never want to speak to him again. Ben deserves it for mucking it up this bad.

When he finally gets off the cab that drops him off at the wedding location in the middle of nowhere he gets greeted with open arms and an enthusiastic hug from Joe, who drags him along to help Rami with the place cards on the tables before he can even put his bags and most importantly his clothes bag with the suit in the room he’ll be staying in.

Rami looks up from a seating chart and a stack of place cards, clearly relieved to have Ben there as a helper, judging by the look on his face. “C’mon. We’ll sort them first by table and then we’ll set them. Oh and Hi,” he greets, giving him a short hug. 

“Hi.” Ben smiles at him and then watches fondly Joe dances off. “Where’s Gwil? And Allen?” he quickly adds, before Rami can give him a weird look. 

“Doing important business Joe is not allowed to know about.” Rami grins at him before he looks over his shoulder and then leans closer to Ben, lowering his voice. “They are with the travelling agent, sorting out last details about the honeymoon. It’s Allen’s surprise for Joe,” he explains and waggles his eyebrows.

“Oh god, that’s so sweet.” Ben bites his lip and looks over to Joe, who is busy rearranging the flowers, only to get his hands slapped away by the wedding planner. “They really are the most adorable couple ever.” He looks back to Rami and smiles at him. “Thanks for being the best best man Joe could ask for.”

Rami just smiles back at Ben. “You’d do the same for him, I’m sure. But it means a lot to hear that, thank you,” he answers and hands him a stack of cards. “And now let’s get to work, that’ll leave Joe one less thing to fret about. Are you coming along tomorrow when we’re going to get his hair cut and pick up the suit from the tailor’s last adjustments?”

Ben nods. “That was the plan. I’ll try to help you keeping him calm as much as possible.” He takes the cards Rami hands him and then takes the seating plan so he can put them down where they belong. It takes his mind off worrying too much about Gwil and how Ben will approach him, if he’ll let him at all.

They work in tandem for a while, getting nearly all of the place cards where they belong before the door opens and Allen comes in, followed by Gwil. Of course Joe immediately heads over and bounds up to Allen, wrapping his arms around him to greet him with an enthusiastic kiss. But Ben barely notices them as his eyes are fixed on Gwil. 

He’s wearing a nice pair of jeans, rolled up at the cuffs so his ankles are showing, a soft and expensive looking sweater and once again the glasses he wore on Monday. He’s still talking to Allen as they come in, but Joe’s enthusiastic approach cuts him off, making him laugh. As soon as he notices Ben with Rami, though, he stops laughing, his previously open and fond expression closing off. 

Immediately Ben feels more than bad about his behaviour again. He really didn’t mean for Gwil to hear Ben say those things to his colleague. He didn’t mean those things in the first place. Sure, he doesn’t like what Gwil did to him then, but that doesn’t give him the right to say these horrible things, especially since Ben is sure by now that he just wants Gwil’s approval and forgiveness. Maybe they can become friends. Ben would like that, he’s sure. Especially since they will see each more of other in the future.

Ben waits for the final round of greetings to be done before he steps up to Gwil when he is sure that the others are busy with something else. As far as he knows, Rami is on his way to pick up his girlfriend Lucy from the train station while Allen and Joe are busy being in love. “Hey. Can I talk to you?” He asks quietly, biting his lip for a moment.

Gwil just shrugs at that. “Yeah. It’s only fair, after all I bothered you at your workplace where you can’t escape,” he tells him, looking really unhappy about it. 

Ben frowns softly at that. He definitely deserves that. “It’s not that. I just... look. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. My co-worker just always tries to talk me into flirting with people and I was just trying to get him off my back.” It’s not even a lie. Ben really means that. “I don’t hate you. I really don’t.”

“Well it probably worked in getting him off your back, didn’t it? Because it was a really believable performance,” Gwil answers, giving him a shrug that looks like he’s trying a little too hard to seem unaffected. It makes Ben feel even worse about all of this.

“I’m really sorry.” Ben stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Also for giving you the cold shoulder. You didn’t deserve that either. But I... I really didn’t expect to see you at the coffee shop. I’m... I was hoping you could forgive me and we could become friends? For Joe’s and Allen’s sake?”

“I’m not going to let this mess up the wedding, don’t worry,” Gwil answers. “They are both way too important to me for that.” He sighs, giving Ben a contemplating look. “Not sure about the friends thing, though.”

Ben nods. “I deserve that.” He gives Gwil a small smile. “Good. Anyway. I’ll talk to you in a bit. For wedding stuff.” With that Ben turns around and walks away from him. He’s pretty sure that Gwil is looking after him but he doesn’t dare to turn around to look, a little too afraid what he’s going to find when he does. He takes a deep breath and then steps up to the happy couple, telling them he’s going to bring his stuff and his suit to his room and freshen up a little.

Joe beams widely at him and wraps his arm around his shoulder, pulling him into a sideway hug. “Of course, do that! Thanks for being here.” He leans in and presses a soft kiss to Ben’s cheek before he sends him off with a snicker and a slap to his bum.

It makes Allen laugh and he pulls Joe in when Ben is leaving, telling him that he definitely should be jealous about the friendship they’re having. Ben doesn’t hear Joe’s answer anymore as he gathers his things, once more dwelling in his thoughts.

Gwil is right. It’s never a good idea to become friends with your ex, and Ben isn’t even sure he wants to be friends with Gwil either. He just wanted to feel better. But at least Gwil accepted his apology, so Ben can be sure that they won’t ruin the wedding by doing something stupid or acting immature. Not that he thought that Gwil would do something like that. He’s definitely far too classy and too grown up for that. As he’s said, he definitely cares too much about Allen and Joe to ruin their wedding by his personal feelings.

Ben, on the other hand, isn’t that mature and it makes him feel even shittier about all of this. He definitely needs to be a grown up about this as well. After all, he definitely cares about Joe and Allen just as much as Gwil does and he wants to make sure that this wedding goes by as smoothly and perfect and possible.

 

—

 

The next time he sees Gwil is when Joe, Allen, Lucy, Rami, Gwil and Ben head out to dinner for the evening, going to a small pizza place in the nearest town. They are having the wedding at a gorgeous location, no question. The beautiful and old country house with the multiple guestrooms as well as an enormous ballroom and a big room where they are all having dinner, as well as the garden surrounding it are gorgeous, but it's a bit out into the countryside which means they have to actually go to the nearest town by car for everything that's not on site yet.

Going out with two couples also means that Ben is stuck to sit next to Gwil all evening. It's a bit hard to pretend everything is well when he’s got Gwil this close. He actually looks forward to the next day when Allen’s parents are supposed to arrive along with Joe’s mum and his siblings, going to make them a bigger crowd that’ll leave him someone else to focus his attention on when everyone else is busy being in love.

Thankfully, the others aren’t the kind of couples who just focus on their partner, so there’s no lull in conversation and thankfully nobody tries to make him interact with Gwil any more than necessary, even though he notices Lucy watching them interestedly, looking back and forth between the two of them every now and then.

Ben isn’t particularly fond of talking to her about it though. He likes Lucy just fine, she’s an amazing friend, and she’s been there for him when the whole debacle with his ex went down as well. It’s just that Ben doesn’t really want to talk to anyone about Gwil right now. After a while he excuses himself, taps on his pack of cigarettes and gets up to step outside, quickly lighting up a cigarette and inhaling the smoke as soon as he’s stepped out. He needs a moment to himself, to collect his thoughts and maybe he needs a moment to calm down again. The whole situation left him more worked up than he wants to admit.

He’s just taken a couple of calming drags when the door opens and Lucy slips out, siding up to him and wrapping an arm around his middle easily. “Hey you,” she greets fondly. “We haven’t talked the whole day. Excited for the wedding?”

Ben smiles at her easily, wrapping his arm around her shoulders in return to pull her against his side. “Yeah, definitely. I’m as bad as Joe is. Well, almost. I don’t think anyone could be as excited as he is, not even Allen.” He laughs softly. “These two are perfect for each other.”

Lucy laughs at that, nodding along as she leans against him. “They are. I can’t wait to see them tie the knot. I’m not sure who will start crying first. Everyone expects Joe to be the one to bawl his eyes out, I think, but my gut tells me it will be Allen.”

“Oh god, yes. You’re right about that. Joe is way too obvious.” Ben grins at her and squeezes her against him for a moment. “How are you though? We haven’t spoken in a while, now that I come to think of it. Haven’t had any shifts together.” Lucy works in the same coffee shop as Ben does and she is one of his most favourite colleagues. Every time they do a shift together, they laugh and have more fun than Ben can count. In the last weeks they haven’t managed that though and most of the times he’s been stuck with his least favourite colleague, Tim.

“I’m good,” Lucy answers with a chuckle. “Very happy. How are you holding up though?” She asks and rubs his side. “Can’t be easy being here and seeing all of these happy lovey-dovey people when you’re heartbroken.”

Ben smiles. “Thanks for asking. It’s... I’m okay. I mean, I liked him, I really did, but I didn’t love him. So there’s that. I think it’s mostly my self-esteem that’s taken a blow?” He’s not even lying about that. Right now there’s only one man on his mind and Ben is determined to get through the next days without being too awkward about everything.

Lucy just leans in to peck his cheek at that. “Well, he’s an idiot. And you deserve so much better,” she tells him and he can tell it comes from her heart. There’s a little pause, though, before she continues. “While we’re at it... how about Gwil?”

“Luce... No.” Ben shakes his head gently. “It’s... we have a history. He’s not... Let’s just say that’s off the table, okay?”

“You have?” Lucy looks up at him, surprised. “So that’s what those looks where all about? Tell me everything.”

Ben chuckles at that. “You’re nosy, you know that?” He squeezes her against his side for a moment and then shrugs. “We’ve met nine years ago, had a thing for about a year. Then he left, had to write his dissertation.” He takes a drag of his cigarette and then blows the smoke into the air, looking up at the sky for a moment. “I was in love with him.”

“And you just... you didn’t stay in touch? I mean, did you talk about it beforehand? A year is a long time. And you were so young then!” Lucy answers, watching him attentively.

Ben smiles down at her. “No, we didn’t. He didn’t say he wanted to and I didn't want to ask him because I was afraid I’d be a bother.” He chuckles softly. “So neither of us said anything. I was really angry with him for a long time. But by now I think it was more of a misunderstanding than him trying to let me down gently.” He shrugs. It kind of hurts to admit it, but Ben really thinks by now that Gwil wasn’t the heart-breaking arsehole Ben painted him to be for all these years. “And I was a bit of a dick towards him the last days.”

“Oh, at the stag-do?” Lucy asks, rubbing Ben’s back gently in comfort. “I’m sorry if I’m asking too many questions about it and I know you’re both going to be adults about it for Joe’s and Allen’s sake, but I want you to be happy, too. And Gwil, too, he’s a friend as well.”

Ben nods and looks down at his feet. “Yeah. He deserves to be happy, too. So he’s single right now?” He can’t help but ask. It’s not that he is particularly interested in it because he wants to act on it. He just needs to be sure, wants to know he’s not the only one without a date at the wedding. It’s a shitty thing to think, but Ben just wants to feel a bit better about himself.

“He is. Has been for a while,” Lucy answers and Ben can see from the twitch at the corners of her mouth that she wants to grin at the question. "He’s been quite busy with work for so long that he didn't have like... time to date and now that he’s settled at work he kind of... looks to settle in his private life as well, I think?”

Ben hums at that and bites his lip, knowing where she is going with this. And no matter what Ben thinks, he definitely doesn’t have a chance anymore. Not after what he said and what he did to Gwil. “I think I blew it though...” He takes a deep breath before he finally tells her the story about meeting him again at the stag-do, about his feelings and everything that bubbled up again. He also tells her the story from Monday, how he clearly upset Gwil with his words to his colleague. Since Lucy works in the same coffee shop as Ben does, he knows all of their colleagues well, knows how stupid the guy is, and just how much he wants to set up Ben with almost every customer or supplier or just every man that walks into the coffee shop.

He has even tried to get Ben to talk to Rami when he first came into the shop, not knowing that Ben had specifically asked Rami to come so he could set him up with Lucy in the first place. So she definitely knows what a dick their colleague is and how much he’s getting onto Ben’s nerves.

Lucy gasps at him, shaking her head and then actually punches Ben in the arm. “You didn’t really say that? Especially not where he could hear? Ben!”

“Ouch.” Ben rubs over his arm and frowns at her. “I didn’t know that he could hear me! And I didn’t mean it, not like that anyway. I just wanted Tim to get off my back.”

“Well, Tim is a nag, I’ll give you that, but still. You don’t say stuff like that. Especially not about such lovely people like Gwil!” Lucy tells him sternly. “Did you at least apologise?”

“Of course I apologised!” Ben huffs at that. “I talked to him about it. But he doesn’t want to hear it. Accepted the apology but that’s it. And well, I know that he’s right about it. But I... I don’t know?”

“Well, it’s understandable that he doesn’t really buy it?” Lucy sighs and gives Ben another hug. “This is a mess, Ben. Why do you have such bad luck with men?”

Ben sinks into her embrace and shrugs. “I don’t know. Because I’m a dick and get what I deserve?”

“No, you’re not. You just have bad luck. Maybe... I don't know. Talk to him again? Get it all out in the open? He’s a sweet guy, he’ll understand when you tell him it broke your heart back then,” Lucy suggests gently, leaning back to look up at him.

Ben groans at that. “I hate that you're so wise. You’re younger than me. You’re not supposed to know these things.” He nudges her gently with his shoulder. “Thanks though, Luce. I mean it. I’ll talk to him. Tonight. Because I don’t want to be awkward around him anymore and I think this is going to affect how I behave at the wedding if I don’t talk to him.”

“Yes, talk to him. Hand him a beer, sit him down, and talk to him. I promise he’s lovely,” Lucy tells him, rubbing over his arm gently. “Well, Rami always says so, too, and you know I trust his sense for people.”

“I know.” Ben sighs. “Rami has a great sense for people. And I know that Allen isn’t friends with arseholes either. And Gwil was really lovely back then, too. He was my first, you know?”

Lucy makes a soft noise at that, wrapping him up in her arms again, and kisses his cheek. “Talk to him, Ben,” she says gently, her voice quiet and understanding. “You're still hung up on him. I can see that. And if I can see that, others can too.”

Ben softly sighs again and sinks against her, burying his nose against her shoulder for a moment. He didn’t think he’d be that obvious. Sure, he definitely is still hung up on Gwil, especially since the man has been on his mind for the last days. But Ben really didn’t think everyone could read that much into it. Lucy is an attentive person, and he loves her for that, but he hates that she hit the nail right on the head. Ben definitely is still hung up on Gwil and he doesn’t know what to think about that. Maybe his heart isn’t fully healed just yet, and there’s only one thing that can help him fix that.

It’s not that he didn’t know that either. He just didn’t want to admit that to himself. After all, he wouldn’t be so affected by Gwil’s reaction if Ben still hadn’t feelings for him.

He takes a soft breath and then finally leans back. “Alright, I’ll talk to him. Should I do it now? The others know about it as well, don't they? I mean, Joe knows, and he’s told Allen. And if you know, Rami knows, too?”

“You could talk to him now, yeah, but I don’t think Gwil will appreciate it?” Lucy answers, rubbing his back. “He’s a private person, he likes privacy for that kind of stuff, I think. And besides, it would be uncomfortable for you, too, if we were all listening in.”

Ben groans again and leans against the stone wall of the building. “I know. I’d hate it, too. I’ll talk to him when we’re back at the house. Is there some beer in the fridge? He loved beer back then, I’m sure he still does now.”

“He does, according to Allen. Those two dorks sometimes go on beer tastings,” Lucy tells him with a laugh. “Rami went along exactly once.” She shakes her head fondly. “C’mon. Inside. It’s getting a little nippy.”

Ben chuckles and gently rubs over her back. “Yeah, let’s head in. Go get a cuddle from your man,” he tells her fondly and then moves to hold open the door for her, following her inside when she slips past him.

Lucy does what she’s told to, settling in back next to Rami and picking his jumper off the back of his chair to hang it over her shoulders before leaning into his side, receiving a fond kiss and a warming rub to her back in return as Ben sits down next to Gwil once more.

Gwil spares Ben a glance, but nothing more, and Ben hardly suppresses his sigh. Lucy is right. Ben really needs to talk to Gwil. It’s not because Ben wants him back, per se, or a second chance, but he doesn’t want the atmosphere to be this awkward between them, not when they’ve still got four days to spend together. Sure, he still has feelings for him, that much is clear to Ben right now. But that still doesn’t mean he wants him back. After all, nine years is a long time and Ben isn’t sure if they maybe haven’t changed too much for a second chance. But if the opportunity should arise, he wouldn’t know what he would do. Maybe he’d act on it, maybe he wouldn’t. Right now he doesn’t really trust his judgement and his feelings too much.

When they are finally back at the house and everyone says good night, Ben gets two bottles of beer out of the fridge and makes his way to Gwil’s room. He takes a deep breath and then brings his hand up to knock on the door.

It takes only a moment but then Gwil opens up, looking honestly surprised to find Ben outside his door, especially when his eyes flick down to the beers in his hand. “Um. Hi?” He asks, eyebrows rising.

“Hi.” Ben smiles at him a little awkwardly. “Um. I was wondering if I could come in and... talk to you?” He holds out the bottles. “I brought beer,” he adds unnecessarily.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Gwil answers with a chuckle and a shake of his head but after a moment, he steps aside and lets Ben in. His room is a little bigger than Ben’s and he’s got a nice big double-bed all to himself by the looks of it, his suitcase lying open in front of it. “Um. Yeah. Come in. There’s a chair?” He offers, nodding to the lone desk chair.

Ben nods and makes his way over to the piece of furniture. Before he sits down though he turns around again to look at Gwil. “Um. Thanks. I just... if this is a bad time I can leave again? But I think we should talk. Properly. You deserve that.”

“No, it’s okay. I was just unpacking a bit, I can leave that until we’re done,” Gwil answers, eyeing the beer in his hand. “At least if you are going to offer me one of those?”

“Yes, sure. Oh god.” Ben laughs awkwardly and then hands Gwil one of the bottles before he sits down on the chair. “Um... I wanted to talk to you about... first of all I wanted to apologise again. For being a prick. You didn’t deserve that. It’s just... I know that it’s not an excuse and I’m not trying to use it as one. I just... back then, when we had our thing. I really... I was in love with you. When you went away you broke my heart. And I... I was pretty angry with you for years about that. And all that came up again when I suddenly saw you at the stag-do. I was a bit unprepared and emotionally worked up anyway.”

Gwil just stares at him wordlessly at the confession, blinking slowly before he visibly shakes himself out of it. “Oh. Okay. Wow. I didn’t expect that,” he admits. “I assumed it was because of your ex and what he did and I kind of was your ex, too, so you just... went for me because I was there?”

“Yeah, well, that too, a bit. But as I said, you didn’t deserve that, any of it. And I thought if you knew that I was in love with you back then, that you’d understand me a bit better?” Ben bites his lip, gently turning the beer bottle between his hands. They haven’t opened the beers yet, but maybe they can toast to friendship later, if Gwil ends up accepting the apology he’s stammering out. “I meant it when I said I don’t want to use it as excuse or anything, but you were my first. And maybe I was too naive, but I really fell hard for you.”

Once again, Gwil thinks it over for a moment before he answers. “I... I adored you, too, back then. I’d given you the world if you’d asked for it,” he tells Ben softly. “But you always stressed it was casual, only rarely stayed the night... I never thought there were feelings from your side.”

Ben laughs humourlessly at that. “At first I was too shy, too new to all of it. And then I didn’t because you said you were going away... I didn’t want to be a bother or risk hearing that you didn’t want to be with me. I didn’t want to seem clingy at the time. You were so busy with your studies.” He really doesn’t believe his own ears. Gwil’s confession makes him feel more stupid than he’s ever felt in his entire life. They were more than stupid. They could have had more, if they just had the courage to talk about their feelings.

Gwil snorts at that. “The fact that I tried to wear you out so you’d just stay and sleep next to me instead of napping and then leaving for the night didn’t give you a hint?” He asks, shaking his head a little.

Immediately Ben flushes at that. “Oh god. You really did that.” He laughs and shakes his head. “No, it didn’t give me a hint. I was completely clueless. I just thought you liked having sex with me.”

Once again, Gwil snorts and shakes his head. “That, too. But um, well, good to know,” he tells Ben. “So... Yeah. Communication could have been better?”

“A bit, yeah.” Ben smiles at him and lifts his shoulders. “So I want you to know that I don’t really hate you. As I said, I just wanted my colleague off my back.” He gives Gwil a sheepish look. “And I know that you’re a good guy. You always treated me well.”

“Thank you,” Gwil answers, then holds out a hand. “And now let me get these beers open before they get warm because we’re just holding them.”

Ben laughs softly and hands him his bottle, waiting for Gwil to open both for them. Once he hands the bottle over again, they clink them against the other’s and toast to talking about it. “I really hope we can become friends?” Ben says hopefully, watching him closely for his reaction as he takes a sip to stall some time. “I mean, our friends are friends, and our friends are getting married. So...?”

Gwil nods at that, giving Ben a small smile. “Yeah, I hope so, too. I guess we’re bound to keep running into each other with our circle of friends being so close. I’m a bit surprised we didn’t meet sooner.”

“Yeah, me too. I mean, it’s nothing but dumb luck, probably. Anyway.” Ben holds out his hand. “I’m Ben. Nice to meet you again.”

Gwil laughs at that, taking Ben’s hand and shaking it. “Gwilym. Hi, nice to meet you again.”

Ben chuckles softly at that and then leans back into the chair. “So, you’re a doctor now?” He asks, watching Gwil curiously as he takes a seat on his bed. 

“Oh, you remember me working on my dissertation?” Gwil smiles at that. “Yeah, I’m all done, Dr Gwilym Lee.”

Ben smiles at that. “That’s the first time I’ve heard your full name,” he tells him and shrugs. “But yeah, I still remember that. After all, you went away because of that.” He bites his lip. Maybe he’s a bit pathetic, but he still remembers everything more than vividly about Gwil. And, if Ben is really honest with himself, he wants to see if this could maybe lead to more than friendship one day. Maybe it’s because one never forgets their first, but Ben has the suspicion he never got over Gwil in the first place. Right now it doesn’t even bother him that much anymore that his last boyfriend cheated on him. It’s old news by now. He just wants to see if he’s got another chance with Gwil. Even if that is more than unlikely. Especially considering that they’ve just toasted to their new formed friendship now.

“Oh come on, you’ve known my last name was Lee. And you’ve heard Gwilym from Joe repeatedly, even if you’ve never connected the dots,” Gwil answers with a laugh. “So yeah. It’s Gwilym Lee. With a doctor in front, but I don’t care about that. Only makes my sounds stuffy. Or like I’m in medicine when it’s only literature.”

“Well, you’re pretty smart. So that just fits.” Ben chuckles. “I’m just dumb, sorry.”

“What? You’re not dumb just because you don’t have a doctorate. That’s bullshit,” Gwil answers, taking a sip of his beer. “Academia isn’t everything. Believe me.”

Ben smiles at that. “I know. And thanks. I was just joking.” He kicks Gwil’s shin lightly. “Thanks for the vote of confidence though. I like that you’re so fiercely defending me.”

Gwil just smiles and shrugs, but doesn’t respond otherwise. He takes another sip, though, and then lets out a soft happy sigh. “Did you find the beer in the kitchen or where did you get it from at this time?”

Ben nods. “Found it in the kitchen. I’m sure Allen stashed it for bad times. But I figured he wouldn’t miss two bottles.” He chuckles softly. 

Gwil laughs. “As if he’ll have bad times during this wedding. He’s so ridiculously excited to get married to Joe, it’s adorable,” he tells Ben fondly. “I’ve known him for so many years now and I’ve never seen him happier than with Joe.”

Ben smiles back at that. “I bet. They are perfect for each other. I mean, I’ve known Joe before Allen and I can say that Allen is good for him. He really is. They’re both good for each other.”

Gwil nods at that, smiling. “And I love the location? It’s so nice here, quiet enough and all romantic but also so secluded we won’t disturb anyone when we’re having a giant party,” he tells him with a laugh, taking another sip while he watches Ben over the bottle.

“That’s true. And it’s gonna be loud.” Ben snickers happily at that and takes another sip of his beer as well. “God, it’s gonna be so good.”

“Yes, loud but so much fun,” Gwil agrees, smiling wide. “Because if there’s one thing they know how to do, it’s how to have a party. I mean, the stag-do was already wild, but I’m pretty sure the wedding will be even wilder.”

Ben nods in agreement. “Definitely. And I if I remember correctly, you know how to party, too. You’re a bit of a party animal.” He raises an eyebrow at him, grinning happily about his memories.

“Oi!” Gwil protests, a little affronted. “You were the one who wanted to dance the whole night through the times we went out!”

“Well... to be fair, I just wanted to spend time with you. Because I thought when we got back to yours we’d have sex and I’d have to leave afterwards,” Ben admits, shrugging a little. It’s not that he’s ashamed to admit it. After all, they have already established that there was a bit of miscommunication during their time together.

“You never had to go,” Gwil answers and lets out a little sigh. “I’m sorry you took it that way. I mean, you stayed after your first time, I liked that. And then you started leaving after that, most of the times, no matter what I tried.”

Ben shrugs. “You didn’t explicitly say I could stay, so I didn’t want to assume I could. I mean, you were busy with everything, we said it was all casual, I didn’t want to be a bother,” he finally says and looks down at the bottle in his hands. Now that he hears all of this, they could have easily done it differently. Maybe, if Ben hadn’t left after their sex, and maybe if they had talked some more, they could have become a couple. And maybe it would be their wedding now. But he doesn’t know how everything would have played out then, maybe they wouldn’t even have been happy. One could never know.

“Well, for what it’s worth now, I want you to know it was amazing sex,” Gwil tells him with a little chuckle and brings the bottle up to his lips to take another sip. “Even if I had to sleep alone afterwards. Probably for the best, I’m told I’m a horrible cuddler.”

Ben laughs at that and looks up at Gwil, taking him in for a moment, watching the way his throat works when he swallows the beer. “I love cuddling.”

“Well, come here then,” Gwil answers with a laugh and spreads his arms. “Let’s hug this whole thing out.”

“Alright.” Ben chuckles and places his bottle onto the desk before he gets up and makes his way over to Gwil to wrap him up in his arms, leaning his head against Gwil’s shoulder. Immediately Gwil’s arms come to rest around him and Ben closes his eyes for a moment, enjoying the hug he’s giving him.

Gwil chuckles softly, squeezing Ben gently. “Hi Ben,” he whispers and rubs his hands over his back before pulling back. “Alright. Tell me about your life, then,” he says with a smile. “What have you been up to in the meantime? I know about your work, you told me about that already. But what about you?”

Ben shrugs. “Not much to tell. Got cheated on recently, been single ever since. But other than that I’m happy.” He smiles up at him, not even having to fake it. “I really am. I’ve got a great family, great friends, and my best friend is getting married on the weekend. And I finally forgave you.” Gently he nudges Gwil with his fist, chuckling softly.

Gwil nudges him right back, rolling his eyes. “I’m the one who has to forgive, considering how you’ve given me the cold shoulder. But you’re forgiven, too,” he tells him and smiles, tilting his head to the side to watch him close. "So... are you still in the old flat?”

Ben nods. “Yeah. Haven't moved.” He shrugs. “It’s a good place though, still cheap enough for me that I can afford it. Same roommate, too. But we work well together.”

“Oh? That’s nice, good for you,” Gwil tells him with a smile. “I’ve biked by your place a few times and wondered if you still live there every time. Never rang the doorbell, though, that would have been a bit weird.”

“Yeah. It would have,” Ben agrees and chuckles softly. “I mean, I would have made a pretty stupid face when you just stood in front of my door without a word up front.”

“Well, I think we both made a stupid face when we met at the club for the stag-do,” Gwil answers with a snicker. “I’m glad they were tactful enough to give us a moment though. I really didn’t expect to just run into you.”

Ben nods. “Neither did I. I really didn’t connect the dots when Joe kept talking about a Gwilym. I mean, I didn’t know your real name anyway, I just knew you as Gwil, but well...” He shrugs softly. “That was... a surprise, to say the least. And I’m sorry, again, for being such a prick to you.”

Gwil laughs at that. “My real name. That sounds like I was giving you a fake name the whole time.” He nudges him again gently. “And I told you, it’s okay.” He wraps his arm around Ben once more to give him another squeeze. “So. Your suit for the wedding. Which colour?” He asks curiously, clearly aiming for a lighter subject. “Tie or bow-tie?

“Black. I’m old fashioned. But no tie and no bow tie.” Ben chuckles and pats Gwil’s stomach lightly. “I saved up for that. It’s an YSL suit. A pretty damn nice one. Your suit?”

“Blue. Dark blue,” Gwil answers. “And no tie either. I was considering a bow-tie but I couldn’t find one to go with it that I liked.” He chuckles. “And I try to avoid ties when I can, I have to wear them for meetings at work and I don’t like it much then, so none in my free time.”

Ben chuckles at that as well but then moves out of their hug to sit down once more so he can take another sip of his beer, almost close to finishing it off. “So, what is it that you do now that you’re so important?”

“I’m in the publishing sector. So mostly I do meetings about books,” Gwil answers with a chuckle. “So not terribly important, sorry to disappoint. No matter how important it might sound.”

Ben laughs softly. “Still important enough to wear suits and ties for meetings.”

Gwil just laughs again at that. “True,” he agrees and nods. “Though most days I can get away with not wearing one at the office either. Or if I’m lucky just like... good jeans with a shirt and jacket, stuff like that.”

Ben chuckles. “Well, I’m sure you still look smart,” he tells him and shrugs. “If I could get away with it, I’d wear trackies all day.”

Gwil snickers softly at that, rolling eyes. “I’m not surprised somehow.” He grins cheekily at Ben, looking so fucking good with the way it lights up his face. He has missed the way Gwil smiles at things Ben says, or seeing him smile in general. It’s definitely nice and it makes Ben’s stomach swoop more than he wants to admit.

Ben laughs softly. “Haven’t changed much,” he says then and shrugs, before he finally finishes off his beer. “I should get going though. We’ve got a lot to do tomorrow and it’s late already.” And if he doesn’t go now, he’s probably going to do something stupid because he doesn’t trust his judgement anymore, especially after the good talk they had and the beer they’ve shared.

Gwil nods. “Yeah, I should finish unpacking. And then go to sleep as well. Allen will keep me busy tomorrow,” he agrees with a chuckle. “You and Rami are taking Joe to the barber, right? And to pick up the suit?”

Ben nods. “Yeah, we are. Rami is contemplating getting a haircut so Joe doesn’t feel too bad about being the only one who gets his hair cut. So maybe I’ll have to get one too. Or a proper close shave.” He chuckles softly. “But thanks for the nice time. And the beer. It was fun.”

“You were the one who brought the beer,” Gwil reminds him with a chuckle and gets up. “But yeah. It was good to talk to you, too. And maybe we’ll get Allen to get a haircut or a shave, too.” He grins. 

Ben laughs at that. “Don’t, or you’ll have to shave to. And the beard suits you.” He winks and then makes his way to the door. “Anyway. Good night. And see you tomorrow.” With that he slips out the door, before Gwil or he can say anything they might regret or not be able to take back. After all, they have agreed to become friends now, and the flirting they did now didn’t really help with that. Especially since Ben is sure that his old feelings are now more than bubbling up.

He blushes a little on his way to his own room as he thinks over what just happened. He really likes Gwil. Especially now that he knows that Gwil wasn’t an arsehole and maybe wanted more as well. Maybe, they would get another chance. But Ben doesn’t want to be too hopeful. Not right now. After all, this is supposed to be Allen’s and Joe’s wedding. This is about them. Not about Ben and his personal happiness, no matter what he might want.

Once he’s curled up in bed, though, his mind goes over their conversation again, though, remembering the way Gwil kept smiling at him, the way he hugged him, all those little things. It makes him remember how things were between them back then and how good he has felt in Gwil’s arms.

He falls asleep with a smile on his face, only to get woken the next day by Joe barrelling into his room and crawling onto the bed and on top of him, slumping down on top of him. 

“Ben,” he whispers loudly over Ben’s groan. “Benny. Ben. I’m so excited.”

Ben groans again and wraps his arms around Joe to hug him close despite his grumbles. “God, you’re so chipper. It’s sickening.” He chuckles and presses a kiss to Joe’s head. “Don’t ever change.”

Joe happily kisses his cheek in return. “I’m marrying Allen in two days, Ben,” he whispers a little breathlessly, sounding like he has just realised that. “I mean... Allen,” he repeats himself and burrows himself into Ben with an excited snicker. 

“I know.” Ben smiles and gently rubs over his back. “And it’s good that you’re marrying him. He’s the right man for you. Both of you are so happy. And we’re all more than happy for you.”

“We?” Joe asks with a chuckle, pulling his head back far enough to grin at him. “But Thanks. Yes, we’re both really happy,” he agrees and sits up. “Come on and have breakfast with us. Everyone is already up, just you sleepyhead are missing.”

Ben groans at that. “You’re all early risers and that’s annoying.” He pats Joe’s side gently. “But fine. I’ll get up. Don’t hassle me.” He chuckles and then rubs over his eyes. “Are you excited to get your hair cut today? And pick up your suit?”

“I’m excited that I get to marry Allen,” Joe answers with a wide grin, climbing off the bed. “And I want to look my best for it, so yes to the haircut and the suit, I think.” He shrugs, turning to Ben’s wardrobe to grab him a henley and a nice pair of jeans. 

Ben raises his eyebrows at that. “Why are you picking out my outfit for me?” He asks, watching Joe curiously. 

“I just want you to hurry,” Joe answers with a laugh. “If I let you pick yourself, you’ll pick joggers and then you’ll want to change before we’re leaving. I’m just saving time.” He really knows Ben, judging by the grin. 

Ben rolls his eyes. “Maybe,” he agrees and then shrugs before he finally gets out of bed. “I’m going to get dressed now and wash my face and then join you and the others downstairs. So see you.” He laughs and nudges Joe lightly. “Go away.”

“Alright,” Joe agrees with a laugh. “I’ll go and save you a seat next to me and far away from Gwilym. But I’m not saving you any coffee!” With that he slips out of the room again, leaving Ben to wake up and get ready by himself. 

Ben wants to tell Joe that he doesn’t need to be seated far away from Gwil anymore, but he bites down on his tongue and instead gets dressed before he makes his way into the bathroom to get ready. After all, he has told himself repeatedly that he doesn’t want to bother Joe at his own wedding or take his mind off the preparations. Joe is supposed to focus on everything he needs to, not on Ben’s love life.

When he finally makes his way downstairs the others greet him with catcalls and calling out a good morning to him, making him laugh. “Shut up,” he tells them fondly and makes his way over to Joe. Gwil shoots him an amused look and Ben can’t help but smile back, a warm feeling spreading out in his stomach.

Breakfast is more or less uneventful and afterwards they part ways, Gwil and Lucy grab Allen to keep him distracted while Ben and Rami make their way towards the tailor with Joe, and then the hairdresser afterwards. 

When they return in the late afternoon with all three of them sporting a fresh haircut, carrying Joe’s suit bag, Allen, Gwil and Lucy are sitting at a small table outside in the wedding venue in the low sun, enjoying a beer each, completely at ease and relaxed. 

“Joe!” Allen greets happily, opening his arms. “C’mere, I want to look at my gorgeous fiancé!” He demands. 

Immediately Joe makes a beeline for Allen and drops in his lap, wrapping one arm around his shoulders. “And, what do you think?”

While Allen happily comments on how dashing Joe looks and how well it suits him, Rami makes his way over to Lucy to rub over her shoulders and lean down to her to press a gentle kiss to her lips, immediately making her melt against him.

Only Ben is standing around a little awkwardly, holding Joe’s suit bag, grateful that he at least has something to do so he doesn’t feel too useless. 

Gwil grins at him, though, when he catches his wandering gaze. “Wanna put the suit inside, probably in yours or Rami’s room and then bring out some beer for the three of you? Then you can join us.” He offers, giving him something else to do. 

Ben nods. “I’ll put it in Rami’s room. He’s the best man after all,” he replies and chuckles before he does what Gwil told him to do and turns around to bring the suit into Rami’s room. Afterwards he gets three bottles of beer before he makes his way outside again. After all they still got some time left to kill before Allen’s and Joe’s families arrive.

Gwil has moved over on the bench so there’s space next to him for Ben to sit in once he’s handed out the bottles. Joe, of course, hasn’t moved off Allen’s lap and is in deep discussion with Lucy, next to whom Rami has sat down and seems to be texting. 

“Dinner out tonight once more when everyone has arrived?” Gwil asks when Ben has sit down and got comfortable as well, Allen nodding along.

“Yeah, I got us all a table at a restaurant in the town,” he tells them. “A table large enough for all of us. Even if that means we’ll have to go in three cars, minimum.”

Rami looks up from his phone at that and nods. “That’s good. I’m sure your families will be more than hungry after the long journeys. It’s a good thing they’re all arriving this early, means Joe’s family will have time to adjust to the time differences.”

“This house will get more than crowded at very last.” Allen laughs softly and shrugs. “But yeah. They most probably will want to eat something as soon as they’ve settled in. So I made a reservation, to be sure we’re all getting a seat at the table.”

Ben nods along. “Wise choice.”

Gwil nods as well. “Especially considering how many people we’ll be.” He nudges Ben lightly, making him look over to him. “Have you met Allen’s family already? He’s got three siblings. And they are all very Irish,” he teases with a look at Allen. 

“Says the man with the most Welsh name I’ve ever met. Well, you and your family. His siblings are called Geraint and Rhiannon. Well and Owen, but Owen is the most normal out of the bunch anyway.”

“Hey! Slander!” Gwil protests, already laughing. 

Ben chuckles at that. “You’ve got three siblings?” He asks curiously, watching Gwil for a moment. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, all of them older. I’m the baby of the family,” Gwil answers with a shrug. “Or at least my siblings love calling me that.”

Ben snickers at that. “Well, you are the baby of the family if you’re the youngest. Can’t be helped. But I know the feeling. My older brother is only a year older and he stills tries to tell me I’m the baby.”

“Older siblings,” Gwil agrees with an eye roll, and then laughs as there’s a chorus of agreement from everyone since all of them have elder siblings as well. Of course, the grooms to be and Rami have younger ones, too, as Joe points out, though Rami stresses that he’s only a few minutes older than Sami. 

Lucy chuckles and pats his arm. “Spares you from being the baby. I know how that feels,” she tells him and grins at Ben. 

Ben grins back at Lucy. He really likes her. She just waggles her eyebrows, making him laugh eventually. “Alright. Beer’s done. Who wants another one? Or do you want to get ready for your families?” Ben asks then, looking over to Joe and Allen. 

“Nah, they’ve seen me before,” Allen answers with a laugh, but Joe nudges him nonetheless.

“I want to change my shirt, it feels like there’s still cut hair somewhere, just waiting to start itching,” he tells them, then turns to Allen. “You’re gonna help me, right? Pick out a shirt and that.”

Allen smiles at him and gently runs his hand over Joe's side. “Of course I’m going to help you, babe.”

Ben snorts at that. “Sure. Help you out of your shirt, you mean.”

Gwil chuckles. “Okay, so we have at least half an hour before we see them again,” he comments, then shakes his head fondly. “Means I’m getting a second beer. Anyone else?”

“Actually, I need to show Rami something. But I’m sure Ben wants another one. He looks kind of thirsty.” Lucy grins and takes Rami’s hand to give it a soft squeeze, making him look at her a little puzzled, trying to figure out what she is up to.

Ben stares at her, trying not to give her a betrayed look. Of course he’d want to have another beer with Gwil, and spend some time along with him, but not pointed out like this.

Gwil turns to grin at Ben. “Is she right? Want another?” He offers, already collecting the empty bottles and cleaning up their little table a bit. He doesn’t seem to mind though that Lucy has tried to get them to spend time alone with each other so obviously.

Ben looks up at him, watching him for a moment, before he finally shrugs before he smiles. “Sure. I’d love to.”

“Good. Now that that’s settled, we’re going upstairs to pick a shirt for Joe,” Allen says with a wink, getting pulled to his feet by a snickering Joe, who seems more than happy about getting to spend time alone with his fiancé as he drags him along.

“Stick to blowies, please,” Gwil calls after them as soon as they are at the door, then starts cackling as Allen just flips him the finger. He turns back to Ben, still grinning widely, his whole handsome face lit up with it. “I’ll be right back.”

“Sure.” Ben nods and then watches him go, before he turns back to Lucy, who gently nudges Rami to his feet, even though he still seems a bit confused about it.

“C’mon, I’ll show you Allen’s suit. It’s in Gwil’s room, and it’s amazing. So you can tell me if it goes with Joe’s." She links her arm with Rami’s and grins at Ben, waggling her eyebrows.

Ben can’t help but roll his eyes at that, even though he can’t help but smile, especially since he can’t be mad at her. She is everything but subtle. “Have fun, you two.”

“Thanks, you too,” Rami says before he turns back to Lucy. “But you already know what suit he’s wearing and that they’re match—“ His voice fades as they walk away and Ben shakes his head fondly.

He's still sitting there alone a minute later when Gwil returns with two bottles, rolling his eyes at their friends. “They are so far from subtle. All of them,” he comments, sitting down again. “Though I think they all just want us to talk and work it out, because they don’t know you came over late last night.” He hands Ben the fresh bottle with a smile.

Ben chuckles softly at that and nods. “Yeah, I know. Joe promised me this morning that I’d get to sit as far as possible from you at the breakfast table.”

Gwil snorts, edging away demonstratively. “Better?” He asks, his voice clearly teasing.

Ben gives him a challenging look and then shuffles after him, until they’re sitting close together, their thighs and shoulders touching. “Yeah, better.”

Gwil smiles at him, tilting his bottle so the necks of their beers clink together for a moment. “To a wonderful wedding and to us meeting again because of it,” he tells Ben fondly.

Ben smiles back at him. “Definitely. It’s good to have met you again. I mean, it’s good that Joe and Allen are getting married, too, but I’m a bit selfish, so.” He shrugs and throws Gwil an amused look.

Gwil chuckles at that, nodding. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” he agrees with a smile. “It’s nice that something good for me personally came out of the wedding, too? On top of it being an amazing wedding for the two of them.”

“Yeah, that.” Ben smiles at him and nods softly. “We should exchange numbers. So we can stay in contact after the wedding, too?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Gwil agrees and immediately starts to move so he can get out his phone. “Give me yours, then.” He smiles at Ben and then waits for him to rattle off the number so he can save it and give Ben a ring in return so he has his number as well.

Ben smiles at that. “Good. Thanks.” He nudges Gwil lightly with his shoulder. “This is nice though, sitting here with you. I missed this. Even though we never did this? Is it weird?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. The potential was there, we just both missed out on it,” Gwil answers, nudging him back. “Though I’m not sure it would have worked out back then. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was kind of heartbroken, too, back then, but then I got into the busiest part of my dissertation, was gone for over three months with my mind completely stuck on work so that wouldn’t have been fair to you either. Especially since the time after that was super busy at work, too, so... yeah.” He shrugs softly.

Before Ben even gets the chance to answer, though, Joe and Allen reappear, laughing together as they step up to them.

Joe raises his eyebrows at the two of them just sitting together and chatting though, but thankfully doesn’t say anything and instead just spreads his arms and twirls around once. “See, Allen picked me something nice. And we’re back in less than ten minutes, no blowie.”

Ben and Gwil both laughs out at that, even though Ben must admit that he would have liked to spend more time with Gwil alone. After all, they haven’t spoken to each other for years and still have some more catching up to do. But he loves Joe, of course, and he knows that he just wanted to look out for Ben, especially since he doesn’t know the latest development just yet.

“You do,” Ben says then and smiles, not moving away from Gwil. After all, they didn’t do something forbidden. And Gwil’s words, that he was a bit heartbroken back then, make Ben’s stomach swoop a little bit. It sounds silly. It does. But Ben doesn’t want to interpret too much into it. After all, they want to become friends now. And the fact that Gwil admitted to having feelings then, to putting it into words that he was heartbroken, too, doesn’t help with Ben’s feelings at all.

Joe and Allen settle with them once more and after that it’s not long before Allen’s family starts to arrive, his older brother being kind enough to pick Joe’s family up at the airport so once they get there as well, it’s a full house, loud and chatty, and incredibly entertaining, just like Allen predicted.

Everyone settles into their rooms quickly before they all head out to dinner together, where they have a lovely time catching up or in a few cases getting to meet and talk for the first time. It’s a nice group, they all get along great, sharing several bottles of wine throughout dinner before they head back, the Mazzello part of the company heading to their rooms to go to sleep to fight off the jetlag as they get back to the house, while the others decide to head to the living room to sit down and chat a bit more.

Ben is still outside, having a smoke and considers following the Mazzello’s example and going straight to bed when the door opens and Joe slips out, looking around for a moment before he spots him. “I knew that’s where I’d find you,” he comments fondly, leaning against the wall next to him and leaning into Ben’s side. “It’s a bad habit, you know?”

Ben smiles and wraps his arm around Joe’s shoulders to give it a soft squeeze. “I know. I’ve been trying to quit, you know that.” He puts out his cigarette anyway before he is finished, mostly just for Joe’s benefit. “Did you need a break?”

“No, I’m good. More than. It’s good to have my family here, to see them all again. I’ve missed them,” Joe answers and cuddles in closer. “Did you need one, though?”

“No. I just needed a smoke. I’m probably going to bed soon though.” Ben gently rubs over Joe’s upper arm as he holds him close.

“And you’re really good? I saw you and Gwil talked earlier? Are you okay?” Joe asks, lifting his head off Ben’s shoulder to watch him closely. “Did you talk about what happened back then?”

“No. Not today.” Ben chuckles softly and squeezes Joe against him once more. “I went by his room last night, so we could talk. We did. Hugged it out, even. We’re good, Joe.”

“Yeah?” Joe beams at him, leaning in to smack a kiss to Ben’s cheek. “That’s good. Allen said he used to talk about you a lot, back when you had your thing? Sounded pretty smitten to him, he said.”

Ben blushes a little at that and bites his lip. “That’s good. I mean, he said that he was a bit heartbroken when we ended it? We were both stupid about the situation back then, and we were pretty open about that when we talked.” He shrugs, pausing for a moment. “I think I still like him, Joe.”

“Oh, you do?” Joe starts beaming even more at that, taking Ben’s shoulders with both hands and squeezing them excitedly. “You’d be so cute together. Promise me you’ll dance with him at the wedding? Well, you’ll have to dance with me, too, and with my mum, she already said all of you have to, but dance with Gwil, too, yeah?”

Ben chuckles. “I can’t promise you that. But I’ll try,” he admits and tilts his head to the side. “And Gwil? Where’s that coming from now? You’ve been calling him Gwilym for years?”

“He gave me a stern talking to when I introduced him to my mum as Gwilym,” Joe answers with a chuckle. “So I’ll do my best to call him Gwil now, too.”

Ben laughs out loud at that and hugs him close, pressing a gentle kiss to Joe’s temple. “I love you, Joe. I really do.” He pats his back for a moment. “And I’m happy for you, that you found the right man for you.”

“Me, too. I’m so happy I’m going to marry Allen,” Joe agrees and grins widely. “He’s not just the right man for me, he’s the perfect man. So fucking perfect. And I’m gonna marry the shit out of that man. And I’ll look handsome doing so, thanks to you guys.”

Ben laughs softly at that. “Yes, you’re going to look dashing and extra handsome. But come on. We should get inside.” He leans in and presses a soft kiss to Joe’s cheek again, mainly because he feels overly affectionate tonight, his feelings needing to be channelled somehow and he wants Joe to feel all of the love he deserves to be feeling. “I’m tired and we’ve got a lot of preparation to do tomorrow.”

Joe squeezes him once more at that, before he finally moves back with a nod. He squeezes Ben’s shoulders and agrees to the preparations, rattling off what needs to be done the next day as they head inside together. Ben listens attentively and agrees to everything Joe has to say, before he finally says his goodnight to everyone and heads to bed. He definitely is more than tired and the events of the last days have left him a little exhausted, so he craves as much sleep as he could possibly get.

As expected, the next day is really busy, everyone lending a hand with the last minute preparations but they get everything done on time and Ben has got to admit that it looks more than amazing what the grooms and the wedding planner have come up with.

Of course, Joe and Allen get even more excited the closer it gets to the big day and it takes a bit of convincing to head to bed early for both of them, but in the end they agree they need to be well-rested for their wedding, wanting to look their best on the wedding pictures as well.

The wedding day comes with lots of tasks beforehand, not just getting Joe into his suit but also to stop him from getting too excited, though Ben manages to calm him down with Rami’s help, getting him ready without fussing too much.

The whole ceremony goes through without a hitch, and is just as romantic as planned, Allen and Joe looking sharp in their suits and even more perfect together. Unlike Ben and Lucy guessed, though, neither of them starts crying, even if their eyes are suspiciously wet while they say their vows to each other. But in the end, they can’t take their eyes off each other or stop smiling at each other as they are pronounced husbands. 

Of course, everyone claps and is delighted about that, and Ben can feel a swell of pride that his best friend and the love of his life finally tied the knot.

Speeches are held and toasts are made and everyone gets quite emotional at the reception and Ben can’t help but watch Gwil in awe as he talks about Allen and Joe, making everyone laugh and wipe their eyes because he’s finding so many nice words about the two. The grooms look more than happy and when he finishes his speech, both of them wrap him up in a tight hug, rubbing over his back and talk quietly to him while everyone claps.

When it’s finally time for the grooms to open the dance floor by doing their wedding dance, Ben can’t help but smile widely at them, as everyone else does. They are definitely most adorable with the way they move in a slow waltz, gazing at each other lovingly the whole time before Joe breaks all form and just wraps himself around Allen, dancing slowly, nearly only swaying on the spot as they hug and keep pecking each other, completely lost in each other.

Only when the song is over, they pull back far enough for another soft kiss, everyone cheering and wolf-whistling again before they move apart, Allen asking Joe’s mother for a dance and Joe doing the same with Allen’s mother, the first few guests joining them on the dance floor as well. 

Out of courtesy Ben dances with one of the cousins, spotting Rami and Lucy on the floor out of the corner of his eye as well. The two of them look incredible together.

When he excuses himself to the bar after the dance he spots Gwil on the dance floor, twirling Allen’s sister around, the two of them laughing together and Ben can’t help but stare. He looks gorgeous in his suit, moving evenly and relaxed as they dance, clearly talking to each other as they do. They do look like they have fun though, and Ben chuckles softly as he keeps watching them.

At the end of the song Gwil gives her a short hug, and then Ben sees him looking around, a smile lighting up his face as he spots Ben by the bar. He says something to Allen’s sister who just laughs and nudges him in return before Gwil is already making his way over to Ben. 

“Hey.” Ben smiles at him when Gwil stops in front of him. “You look like you’re having fun.”

“I am.” Gwil chuckles softly. “And now I’m thirsty,” he declares and leans against the bar next to him, still smiling at Ben. “How are you? Having fun, too?”

“Yeah, I am.” Ben grins back at him. “I just needed a break from all of the dancing. And I can recommend this. They make a mean vodka soda.” He holds up his drink.

Gwil just grins at that, leaning a little closer as he places his order with the bar man, one vodka soda, just like Ben recommended. When he leans back, he brushes a hand over Ben’s arm, biting his lip for a moment before he leans in closer. “Will you save a dance for me?” He asks, lips nearly brushing Ben’s ear as he talks. 

Ben barely suppresses a pleasant shudder running down his back and he nods softly before he looks up at Gwil when he leans back again. “Sure. Just for you,” he tells him and manages a small smile. God, he needs more alcohol if he is supposed to survive the night. 

Gwil smiles back at that, moving even closer so he can wrap an arm around Ben’s shoulders, a gesture that could just be friendly, but reminds Ben of so much more, of how good he’s always felt in Gwil’s arms with his hands on his body. With his free hand he picks up the drink the bar man placed at his elbow, then holds it up to Ben’s. “To the grooms,” he murmurs. 

“To the grooms,” Ben echoes and smiles up at him. He bites his lip a little, feeling like he could flirt with him, like Gwil is flirting a little as well. It makes Ben feel hot all over. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but he strongly suspects it’s Gwil in general.

Gwil clinks his glass against Ben’s glass and chuckles, then takes a first sip and lets out a happy sigh. “God, this is good, you’re right,” he agrees, squeezing Ben with the arm he has still around him.

Ben watches him lick over his lips before his eyes come to rest on Gwil’s again. “I know what’s good,” he tells him softly and sneaks his arm around Gwil’s waist to squeeze his side gently in return.

Gwil just smiles back at that. “It’s so romantic, isn’t it?” He asks, looking out at the dance floor where Allen and Joe have found each other again, slowdancing and tenderly kissing, completely lost to everything going on besides them.

Ben nods along to that. “Yeah, it is,” he agrees softly and squeezes Gwil’s side once more. He’s a bit jealous, if he’s honest. Of course Joe and Allen deserve all of their happiness and Ben doesn’t want to take it away from them, but he’s also a bit envious that he doesn’t have someone dancing with him like that, looking at him like that. Especially with everything else that has been happening to him in his love life lately.

Gwil lets out a soft hum, pulling Ben a little closer and takes another sip of his drink. After a moment, he turns to Ben again, his face close as he lets his eyes wander over Ben’s face for a moment. “Drink up and dance?” He suggests and there’s no mistaking the flirtiness in his voice this time. 

Ben’s gaze locks with Gwil’s then and he bites his lip before he nods. “Yeah,” he breathes out and downs the rest of his drink. He smiles up at Gwil and takes a step away from him, holding out his hand. 

Gwil finishes off his drink as well, shaking his head and shuddering for a moment at the intense taste before he takes Ben’s hand. “Come on, I wanna twirl you,” he tells Ben with a wide grin. 

Ben laughs out loud at that. “Oh, you do?” He asks back and walks backwards to the dance floor. “Twirl me all you want then.”

Gwil follows him with a wide smile, wrapping his arms around Ben as soon as they are among the dancing masses. He starts leading him easily, his hand squeezing Ben’s softly where they are linked together, the other one sitting a little too low on the small of Ben’s back for a classic dance pose. He’s a good dancer, that’s easy to tell, leading Ben gently. 

Ben can feel himself get lost in Gwil’s eyes though, the blue barely visible in the dim light of the room. But Ben knows them so well, and it makes his stomach swoop. All of his old feelings, and maybe new ones as well, bubbling up once more and with the way Gwil looks at him so intensely, it’s making Ben feel hot all over. 

They dance easily until the song ends and then Gwil stops them in the middle of the dance floor, making Ben look up at him, his lips worried between his teeth. 

“Another dance?” Gwil asks softly, moving his second hand to the small of Ben’s back as well and since the next song has already started, he’s already softly swaying them. It’s a slower one, this time around, that doesn’t require a proper pose.

Ben wraps both of his arms around Gwil’s neck, lacing his fingers together behind his head. “This is nice. So yeah,” he whispers back, his gaze still locked with Gwil’s.

Gwil pulls him a little closer, gently rubbing Ben’s back as they move together. “Missed having you in my arms.”

Ben feels himself blush at that and he bites his lip, trying to hide his growing smile. “Missed being in your arms.”

Gwil just squeezes him softly in return, pulling him a little closer, as he leans his head against Ben’s. They are actually slowdancing by now, wrapped up around each other as they move to the music. 

Ben can’t help but close his eyes at that, as he lets himself fall into Gwil’s arms and the embrace, enjoying their dance together. They’ve never done something like this. Sure, back then they danced and partied, but they never slowdanced and never were this romantic. Ben can’t help but smile softly. He feels stupid for this, he really does, but he feels like this is leading somewhere, even though he can’t really pinpoint it. He’s not quite sure where this is leading, and most probably they should talk about it, but right now he just feels more than comfortable in Gwil’s arms, dancing slowly to the music that’s surrounding them. He doesn’t even notice the other people around them. Right now all he can focus on is Gwil and his arms around Ben that keep him safe.

When the song ends, Ben reluctantly pulls away from Gwil enough to look up at him. “Wanna head outside with me?” He asks quietly and bites down on his lip. He wants Gwil alone for a moment, not necessarily have a smoke, even though he feels like he could really use one right now.

Gwil smiles softly at that, his hand slowly rubbing over Ben’s back. “Yeah, sure,” he agrees easily and after a moment more, they pull apart, though Gwil just takes Ben’s hand instead of letting go of him completely.

Ben can feel himself flush at that but he doesn’t pull his hand away from Gwil’s. He likes holding his hand. It feels amazing to hold Gwil’s hand, soft and gentle and perfect. So without losing contact, Ben pulls Gwil along with him, the two of them making their way outside. Ben would really like a smoke just now. But he knows that Gwil doesn’t really like it, so he doesn’t light one up once they are outside.

Gwil leads him over to a secluded area, away from the people that are smoking and drinking outside, only a few fairy lights they installed in the tree lighting the way. Smiling, he pulls Ben in close, and then tilts his head to the side. “Did you want to have a smoke?”

“Yeah.” Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s waist, hugging him back. “But I know that you don’t like it. So maybe I won’t have one.” He looks up at him and bites his lip. It’s almost romantic, the two of them standing in the light summer night air. 

Gwil smiles softly. “That’s nice, thanks,” he murmurs and Ben can feel Gwil’s hand slip under his suit jacket, gently rubbing his back with only his thin shirt separating their skin. 

“Gwil...” Ben looks up at him, unsure of what to say. He wants to, he really wants to kiss him. But he doesn’t want to do it without talking first. History can’t repeat itself.

“Is this okay?” Gwil asks softly, looking back at Ben. His face is a little flushed as well and he looks incredibly handsome, gazing at Ben like this in the twinkling lights. It’s so romantic it should feel kitschy like in a rom com, but somehow it feels just right for the charged air between them. 

Ben nods softly, his gaze dropping to Gwil’s lips. “I really want to kiss you,” he whispers and slowly drags his gaze upwards to Gwil’s eyes again. 

Gwil nods as well, moving a little closer. “I want to kiss you, too,” he whispers back softly and brushes his nose against Ben’s, bringing up his other hand to cup Ben’s cheek. 

Ben lets his eyelids flutter close as he leans into the touch. God, he’s still so gone for Gwil, he doesn’t even have words for it. When Gwil’s lips finally touch his, it comes as a surprise, even though Gwil announced it. But Ben wants it. He wants to kiss him and to feel him close. 

Easily he pulls him in further and tilts his head to the side to give Gwil better access as they kiss and finally parts his lips when Gwil licks into his mouth. It feels incredible how tenderly Gwil treats him, kissing him and cupping his face, leaning down to meet him just as Ben rises up onto his tiptoes.

The kiss feels much too short, no matter how long it lasts, when Gwil pulls back, pressing another peck to Ben’s lips before he moves away just far enough to look down at him. “This okay?” He whispers softly, his thumb brushing back and forth over Ben’s cheek. 

Ben nods softly, his gaze flicking over Gwil’s face. “Yeah,” he whispers eventually. “Very.” He licks over his own lips, taking some of Gwil’s taste off it. “We should talk though. I don’t want to stumble into another thing.”

Gwil nods at that, his finger still gently brushing Ben's cheek. “You’re right. We should,” he agrees. “Don’t want things to go wrong a second time. We’re lucky enough we ran into each other again.”

Ben nods bravely and then steps away from him, even though it takes him a lot of effort. But for talking to Gwil he needs to be physically separated from him or Ben can’t think. “I want to take this slow. I don’t want to have sex with you tonight. I mean, I do, because sex with you is great, but I want to date first. I want to do this properly this time around.”

Once again, Gwil nods at that, smiling softly. “Yeah, I wanna go slow, too. Go slow, date you, and take my time. Get to know you again,” he agrees softly and reaches out, but doesn’t bridge the gap between them. “Tonight I just want to dance with you and give you a good night kiss at your door.”

Ben laughs softly at that but reaches out to take Gwil’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “That sounds like it’s the perfect first date,” he tells him and tugs Gwil close. Despite wanting to take it slow, Ben also doesn’t want to stop kissing him.

“Lots and lots of slow dancing?” Gwil asks, stepping up closer easily and wrapping his arms around him once more.

“Yes.” Ben chuckles and wraps his arms around Gwil in return, pulling him a little closer. “Another kiss? Just for good measure?” He bites his lip and looks up at him, giving him a flirty look.

Gwil chuckles softly. “How can I say no to that face?” He gently traces his fingers over Ben’s cheek and then cups his face before he leans in to brush his lips to Ben’s once more, kissing him soft and slow.

Ben easily melts against him. He meant what he said when he told Gwil that he wants to take things slow. But he also likes kissing him, and tonight is a special night, so Ben definitely wants to have a little more of these kisses, even if it’s just for now.

But he’s got the feeling that Gwil and he can become something great, if they just take the time to get to know each other again, and hopefully even a lot better than they used to. This time around Ben doesn’t want to mess it up. This time around he wants to do it properly. He wants a happy ending for himself, just like their friends got today. He wants something like that. And he doesn’t just want it with anyone. He wants it with Gwil.


End file.
